you know I just feel bad that people have to even glance at how fucking ugly I am. I feel like I have to apologize for the fat they have to see, my ugly face, the ugly way I walk..everything.
And I find it so so so ironic how disgusted I am with myself and still want to have more.
I’m not talking about normal food.
This is gross:
~1 can of condensed milk (~1000)
1/5 carton of coffee creamer (~210)
4 servings of granola (130x4)
1 slice of some kind of pumpkin bread
1/2 cranberry muffin
1/2 strawberry muffin
And prior to that, I had 1 bowl of salad and a little bit of rice and beans and fish and potato salad. This was before my dad pissed me off.
Assuming that I’ve just had at least 2500 calories within an hour, I’m getting out as much as possible and going to the gym. I’m staying on the elliptical. I’m burning at least 1000 calories. I don’t care what my body feels like during or afterwards. I have to. I’ve gained about 8 lbs because of this tongue ring. I don’t have any other options. I have to. I’m a fucking gluttonous pig.