I really like Paul
But I have such low self esteem I keep thinking he does this with any girl he finds attractive —not that I AM but he thinks so.
It’s a delusion that he notices me more when I’m not sober.
Worst case scenario: he does this with anybody for the hell of it
Best case scenario: he actually likes me and wants to get to know me and gets butterflies the way I do and gets happy when he sees me and maybe kind of nervous.
I told my mom about him. She can tell how I feel because I was smiling ear to ear when I thought about him and I was so much less sarcastic rude and plain down rude when I thought about him
Ugh I like him. I like him I like him I like him. And I’m afraid of being disappointed.
I think I could learn to love him…if he loved me. Because I refuse to love alone again.
This is illegal till November. But we can play it safe till then…maybe. If we both want to. I know I don’t necessarily want to but whatever